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Transcription:Keebler Attacked
opens the windows to the Keebler Treehouse and sniffs the air Ernest: Aah, a wonderful day to make cookies. Cookies with the finest ingredients, the smoothest chocolate, and... suddenly sniffs the air again, sensing danger Ernest: Oh, that I live to see this day. pulls out a horn and blows it. The elves stop working and equip themselves with medieval-style weapons and armor. Keebler Soldier: [nervously] Are you sure Ernest? Ernest: Yes. Listen to the voice upon the wind, you will know it to be true. Cookie Monster (offscreen): Cooookiiiiie... soldiers gasp Cookie Monster: Cooookiiiiie... soldiers gasp again. Cookie Monster jumps out from behind a large rock Cookie Monster: COOKIE!!! Ernest: Hold! soldiers hold their attack. Cookie Monster eats several soldiers as he wallows towards the treehouse. Ernest: Hold! soldiers still hold their attack. Cookie Monster continues to eat several more soldiers as he heads to the treehouse. Ernest: Hold! runs off, and bumps into a chef elf Ernest: I owed him overtime. Chef Elf 1: Bu-bu-but you owe me overtime...which is no big deal! Monster chases them both Cookie Monster: Coooooookiiiiiiiiiie!!!! and the elves run inside the treehouse for safety. Cookie Monster attempts to break down the door Cookie Monster:'' Cookie! Cookie! Coookiiiie!!! '''Keebler Elf 1:' I didn't sign up for this. I just wanted to make cookies! Keebler Elf 2: I'm making cookies in my pants right now - they're shaped like poo! Monster's arm crashes through the door Cookie Monster:'' COOKIE!!!! ''grabs Elf 2 and smacks him on the floor, A second chef elf slides down the treehouse's staircase banister, armed with a bow, which he uses to fire arrows that impale Cookie Monster's hand, which is then stabbed with a sword by the chef elf. Cookie Monster screams in pain, the chef elf then throws a grappling hook, which lodges in Cookie Monster's upper jaw. The chef elf pulls the rope tied to the grappling hook, along with a third elf, and pins him down Chef Elf 2: Now, give the monster what he wants! Keebler Elf 3: Diabetes? Chef Elf 2: Good comment on modern culture, but no. Cookies! elves make cookies and throw them out the treehouse window at a rapid pace. Being the cookie addict he is, Cookie Monster gobbles up each one. Cut to a third chef elf and Buckets, a black elf, who are attempting to make and throw more cookies Chef Elf 3: Faster, Buckets! Pack that fudge! Pack that fudge, damn it! giggles Chef Elf 3: Save your immaturity for when we're not about to be killed, you idiot! pours fudge onto the cookies Chef Elf 3: ''chuckles'' Fudge. Cookie Monster: his cookie-filled mouth Cookie Monster...can't stop...can't stop eating cookies...Wheezes Monster's belly bursts open and he dies; the elves cheer. cut to a courtroom, where Cookie Monster's mother is sobbing at the witness' stand. Cookie Monster's mother: crying ''They know he had cookie addiction! It like they feed heroin to junkie! '''Ernest's Lawyer:' It was a home invasion! They acted in self-defense! Judge Brown: Order, please! Order! The court finds in favor of Keebler, Incorporated! gavel ''I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles. '''Cookie Monster's mother:' ME SON IS DEAD AND YOU MAKE PUN?! ME KILL YOU! ME (Bleep)ING KILL YOU!'' '' Monster's mother savagely grabs his gavel away, then takes a few huge bites out of Judge Brown's head, killing him. Some police officers respond to the extreme violence by shooting her to death with their pistols. One officer fires one last shot at her corpse. ends, as well as segment. Category:Transcriptions